Valentine's Day

OK, just breathe. Your life isn’t over because you’re single on Doom’s Day…I mean, on Valentine’s Day. There are plenty of us ladies who don’t have a man to buy us gifts, take us to dinner, and to get kinky with at the end of the night. We are strong, independent, beautiful women and most guys just can’t keep up with us. That’s why we’re single. Right? Wrong. Maybe we’re just crazy, or too demanding, or stubborn—ever think about that?

Wait, are we in a recession? You wouldn’t think so with the season of love upon us. It turns out that projected sales for Valentine’s Day are higher than last year and retailers think it’s because youngsters are buying more chocolate and cards this year. But retailers are obviously idiots.

There’s a reason that Valentine’s Day is the sole survivor of the gift-giving holidays and it’s really simple--women demand attention and men want to get laid. Tah-dah!!

If you are a man, single on Valentine’s Day, and upset about it, I have advice for you—suck it up and quit being a pansy.

You above all people should LOVE Valentine’s Day and I’ll tell you why…

#3. Count Your $avings!

Pull out all your money from your Savings account and walk up to couples who are having romantic dinners with the flowers, chocolates, stuffed animals, chocolate covered strawberries & champagne and just gloat about how much you are saving. Show them the wad of cash they could have.

"I still got mine. Sucka!"

 

I’m not a big fan of red roses. I actually hate them so much that the night before Valentine’s Day, I explained to my boyfriend that men who send red roses to women are “unoriginal and boring.” The next morning I got to work and found a dozen red roses sitting on my desk with a note that read, “Happy Valentine’s Day to the most beautiful woman in the world.” My boyfriend had obviously ordered the roses before I told him my theory of men who buy them. I felt like a big asshole so I called him, cried, and said thank you.

Valentine’s Day is this Saturday and did you know that other than Christmas, it’s the biggest day for engagements? Looks like the day of love really does serve a purpose for couples. According to style and jewelry expert, Michael O’Connor, a third of engagements happen between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day. But it’s important to be prepared, which is why I got tips from Michael on how to pop the big question—because there’s nothing worse than a bad engagement story. Oh wait…besides a bad engagement ring.