You men out there who think it's useless to have a female non-sexual companion need to think again.  The friend with the real benefits is the friend that can show you how the female mind works.  Think about it.  You can see things through the eyes of a woman.  If only for a moment, who cares, you still get that insight.  You can also have the ability to emote fearlessly.  In the early stages of a relationship, you might be reluctant to show any emotion, let alone meaningful ones.  With a female plutonic you can emote away without fear of embarrassment or lost love.  Most importantly you can hone up your listening skills, and women LOVE THAT.  You’ll experience intimacy without getting, you know, intimate.  All her talking will train you in the invaluable art of listening, which-I can guarantee this-will coax the pants off some woman in your future.

Every time Fathers’ Day rolls around I become nostalgic about the times I have spent with my Pops.  I am one of the rare Hispanic males in Los Angeles that was raised with a Father in the home.  Although my parents are happily married, I had the unique experience of knowing what it was like to not have a Dad around.  My Father traveled about 60% of the year for business matters.  I don’t mean a weekend in Frisco for some convention; I mean Asian countries for weeks at a time.  Even though, my Dad was always away on business, I can’t really recall him ever missing an important event in my life.  He would constantly fly home from the other side of the globe to see my little league games and take a red eye back that night. That’s character.  That’s what it means to be a father. 

Today’s his day, and like it or not today is your father’s day as well.  Cliché as it may sound, take some time and really think back and appreciate what your dad did for you.  What sacrifices did he make for you?  How was the quality of his life compromised in order to make your quality of life greater?  If these sacrifices are small or worse yet non existent then you need not pay it much mind.  Just make sure that cycle ends here. 

This last Saturday I was lucky enough to play in the Dodgers Hollywood Stars Celebrity game.  This was a huge honor for me on many levels.  One being that I am an avid Dodger fan and two I am not a celebrity so it was a true privilege. 

            I really didn’t do myself any favors during the warm-ups out on the diamond.  I started to launch bomb after bomb during batting practice and that only got me to loosen up and think I was better then I really am.  Come game time, I stepped up to the plate and nearly lost my lunch looking out amongst the crowd.

All in all it was a great day.  I played as well as I could play and lived out a life long dream of playing at Dodger Stadium. 

A skinny tramp like LinLo definitely needs some muscle to lead her around the mean streets of Hollywood.  Well little did I know that Lindsay was a benefited OG!  Lee Weaver has been a bodyguard for the Hollywood elite for more then fifteen years, the last two of those he followed around Lindsay Lohan.  This week, Weaver stepped down as Lohan’s bodyguard because it got too hectic.

Weaver was quoted   "I have looked after some of the wildest stars in Hollywood — but never anyone as out of control as Lindsay is.  She had a total death wish and took more drugs and drank more than anyone I've met."  I’ve never found Lohan all that attractive physically, but knowing that she is a complete sociopath puts her up at least three notches on my boner scale.  Crazy bitches are down for whatever. 

So I had to be on the red carpet for the MTV Movie Awards this last Sunday.  What a miserable lot of shitheads I came in contact with over there.  Everybody sauntering down the press line was so consumed with getting attention, that they didn’t even realize that they hadn’t accomplished dick in order to deserve any.  I almost got into a fight with a cast member of a certain reality show (I won’t name names) because I was moving him away to get to Borat’s assistant.  Heaven forbid I get an interview with somebody who has actually made an intellectual contribution.  If it weren’t for Luscious Liz from L.A.’s Power 106 being next to me all day, I would have guzzled a cocktail of Hemlock and Stoli. 

The true highlight of my day was winning a considerable amount of money by betting that Paris would show up in lue of her impending jail stay.  Sure enough that whore made snail trails down the carpet earning me a hefty chunk of dough.  Thanks Paris.  Your rancid narcissism is actually good for something.