Oh my god! I’m sick one day and I pick the biggest gossip day of the year to be doubled over in pain. So as I’m lying in bed clicking the remote to find the latest on the Lindsay and Britney stories I’m just kicking myself for not buying a damn laptop because at this point there is just no way I can make it to my computer as I’m afraid of what might come out of any given orifice.

So I know this is a day late but damn, what a great day of celebrity meltdowns. I’m going to have to concentrate on poor little Lindsay today because it is just too tragic. So the girl is just shy of 2 weeks out of rehab and has already been arrested once for her May D.U.I. You remember the incident the spawned the famous picture of Lindsay passed out in the passenger seat of her car, mouth hanging open? It was this fun little outing that led to her stint in rehab (this was actually her second go at rehab). Well, on Monday Lindsay was having a swell day out with her assistant, eating lunch and showing off her hair extensions which were in dire need of attention. But just 12 hours later Lindsay had fired the assistant she had just had lunch with and was chasing said assistant’s mother in a car. The mother, not knowing who she was being chased by, called 911 and tried to make it to the police station but ended up a block away, where they ended up in a parking lot in a heated argument. The police showed up and Lindsay was taken to jail where she blew a .12 and .13, well over the .08 legal alcohol limit in California. Lindsay also had cocaine in her pocket, which she claims is not hers. I’m a fairly nice person and will carry stuff for friends. You know, if my friend asks me to hold her purse for her while we are out shopping and she needs to try something on, I’ll always do it. But I rarely carry around someone’s drugs for them, just to be friendly. You would think that since the girl has been in rehab twice and has a DUI and other problems, she wouldn’t be carrying drugs for other people, but I guess she is SUCH a good friend she does nice things like that.  So now she has 2 D.U.I’s in one week (granted, the first one is from the May incident but it is still great that they happened so close together), plus the cocaine thing looming over her.  Wow, what a week for the girl!  I think it is particularly funny that the first arrest sheet lists her height as 5′2" and the second one lists her as 5′7".  Now I don’t know about you, but I’ve never grown 5 inches in a few days - 5 pounds maybe, but never 5 inches. 

        Lindsay’s Mug Shot

Probably my favorite information comes from Harvey Levin from TMZ. He was on FOX news talking about the fact that if charged with both DUI’s she would definitely have to serve jail time, but she has a great lawyer who would probably get the cocaine charge dropped. Some are speculating that she could get up to 6 years, although I doubt she would get anywhere near that. Now the question is, where is Lindsay? At first the rumors were that she had gone back into rehab, which is not a bad place for her given that the first two times didn’t work so great. But Dina, Lindsay’s mom is now saying that she is in “a safe place.” I don’t know what that means but for Lindsay’s sake I hope that she is far, far away from all her friends and her mom, who in the past has just been an enabler. And maybe this time she needs to go to a rehab that doesn’t allow her to go shopping or on other excursions. Maybe this time she needs to be locked up for more than 30 days with no privileges so that she can get the help that she so desperately needs. 

Tags: lindsay lohan, harvey levin, tmz, fox news, dina lohan

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This week the Beckhams have made their presence in Los Angeles known. The week started out with Victoria’s reality show on Monday, Victoria Beckham: Coming to America. Now originally this was supposed to be a series, but apparently she was either too boring or too much or a bitch for the network to do a full series about her, so they turned it into a one-hour special instead. Of course, I had to tune in to see what she was like and I was pleasantly surprised that she had more of a sense of humor than I had given her credit for. As for those ginormous looking boobs of hers-they didn’t look so humongous on tv. Basically the special was about her being in Los Angeles looking for a house for her and the family to live in. I think my favorite, and by far the most horrifying and weirdest part of the show, was when she was invited to this Beverly Hills socialite thing. She met up with this group of way too rich women who had all spent too much money on plastic surgery and booze and not enough time on their personalities. Let me tell you, this was the oddest bunch of women I have ever seen in my life. There was this one woman who thinks she is a mermaid who does this screech sound that defies explanation. Overall the show was ok, but I can see why they decided on one special instead of a series. Unfortunately for Posh, it got horrible ratings so I’m not so sure she’ll be getting another chance at a TV show.

By far the best thing about Victoria is her husband. Have you seen those pictures of David and Posh in W Magazine? Holy mother of god is he gorgeous. The man is flawless. I can’t even begin to think of enough adjectives to describe how delicious he is. I’m sure that the soccer fans in Los Angeles are excited to finally have some press about the the L.A. Galaxy and the game of soccer, although I’m not sure that this is the kind of coverage they wanted, but damn I’m sure willing to spend money to watch a bunch of sweaty guys kick a ball around a field if they look like Beckham. Unfortunately, David won’t be starting this weekend due to an injury, but I’m sure he’ll be back in tip top shape soon enough. Until then, if he needs a nurse I can be reached at the SíTV offices. Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Apparently, David has a bit more personality than Posh does because he has been offered a reality series, David Beckham’s Soccer USA. The 13 episode series is being created by American Idol producer Simon Fuller and will air on the Fox Soccer Channel in the U.S.

Tags: victoria beckham, david beckham, l.a. galaxy, sitv, american idol

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Last night on VH1 was the premiere episode of “Scott Baio…is 45 and Single” and let me tell you it is one swell show. At first I thought it was just another celebrity dating show, but the great thing about this show is that Scott is already in a relationship but he is afraid that he is somehow going to grow bored with it, like he always does, and give the girl the heave-ho. In every relationship he has been in he has cheated on the woman, grown bored with her and then dumped her. So he has decided to hire a life coach to figure out why he is 45 years old and still single. First though he has to find a life coach. Scott interviews several people who all have different techniques and styles. Some were completely stupid, some lame and a couple were just friggin wackos, like the one who was have “do anything, even have sex with” Scott to help him figure his life out. And then there was the guy who believed in putting on different sunglasses to have different views on life. If you put on your “happy” glasses you will be happy and if you have your “cool” glasses on you will be cool. But Scott finally finds his life coach in a certified therapist with a Ph.D named Dr. Ali.

Dr. Ali has a few rules though before she will help him figure out his life. First, he must remain celibate for the 8 weeks that she is going to treat him, he has to talk to his ex-girlfriends to figure out why his relationships failed, and for the 8 weeks that they are trying to fix his life he cannot see his current girlfriend. He tells his girlfriend the rules over dinner and needless to say she isn’t too thrilled, but is hoping to get a commitment out of him when all is said and done.

Tagging along on Scott’s excursion of self discovery are some of his friends, including a short, wannabe actor named Johnny who has been friends with Scott forever. Jason Hervey, child actor from “Wonder Years,” is also a friend and constant companion. They have mixed feeling on whether Scott can go the 8 weeks without having sex and if they think he is capable of having a lasting relationship leading to marriage.

Some of the assignments that Dr. Ali sets up for Scott are to meet with the first woman he had feeling for and to meet with the first person he ever had sex with. Can you guess who that person is? I’ll give you a hint…A curly haired actress who starred opposite him on two different shows. Give up? Okay, it was Erin Moran! And when he meets with her not only does she tell him that he claimed he wanted to marry her, but she also blurts out that he had a small wee wee. Damn, that hurts! On his drive home after seeing Erin Scott decides to call Henry Winkler for support and Henry tells Scott that he is using fame as an excuse for all his problems. Double damn! The poor guy is getting it right and left.

Basically during the course of the one hour premiere show his life coach told him he was an “emotional cripple,” his first girlfriend told him he has commitment issues and is always looking for something better, Erin Moran told him he hates people and has a small pecker and Henry Winkler told him he uses fame as an excuse for his problems. Oh, and his best friend doesn’t even want Scott to get married at all because then he couldn’t use Scott as his wingman because without Scott he is just a short, fugly out of work actor. Poor Scott is in a pickle, but damn he still looks hot and he still wears that gold cross around his neck-the same cross he’s been wearing since he was like 14 years old.

Scott and the woman he can’t bang for the next 8 weeks!

Stay tuned because the sparks are going to fly between Scott and Johnny when Dr. Ali tells Scott to stop hanging out with him. Will Scott stay true to his current girlfriend or will he cave and end up having sex with another woman like he has in every other relationship. And more importantly, does he really have a small weiner?

Tags: scott baio, erin moran, jason hervey, henry winkler, vh1

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                                               Friday Bits and Pieces of Hollywood Information

Just an update on Nicole Richie’s upcoming trial.  Ms. Richie did not have to come back to Los Angeles to report to the trial and the commissioner did go ahead and grant a one month continuance in her trial, pushing it back to August 16th.  The reason?  Because her key witness is on vacation and they need him to challenge the results of Nicole’s drug test when she was arrested driving the wrong way on the freeway. 

Sunday is going to be a television day of heaven for me as the new Scott Baio reality show premieres on VH1 at 10:30pm.  Scott is going to get a love coach to figure out why he is 45 and still single.  Could the fact that he always goes for the same damn type: blonde, big boobs, big fake hair, be the problem?  Maybe it’s time for Chachi to start looking for a cute short curvaceous Cuban girl who likes to gossip.  I’m sure I will  have tons to say about this show on Monday and plenty of my own advice to dispense to one of my first serious crushes in life.  Aww, just thinking about the gold cross necklace around his neck and tight jeans makes my heart go pitter patter.

Apparently some people are complaining that Paris may have had special privileges while in the klink recently, such as having use of a free cellphone and getting a new uniform, instead of having to wear a recycled one, like most inmates do. Sheriff Lee Baca had said that Paris was going to experience prison the same way that all other women do, but turns out that our little princess got a bit better treatment than most women while in custody.  But I guess she’s out and it’s not worth complaining too much about now.  I’m just happy she served some time and that hopefully she learned something from it. 

Have a great weekend everyone!

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So what are Nicole and BFF Paris going to have even more in common now?  Possibly spending time in the slammer!  Nicole Richie’s lawyer went to court today to ask for a continuance until August 5th because her expert witness, Dr. Terence McGee, was not available to testify, but the judge didn’t give a crapola and said "No."  So now, Nicole, who is in Canada with her man Joel, has to fly back to show up for court tomorrow morning.  The trial will begin at 8:30am and prego Nicole could be sent to the slammer for 5 days.  Since Paris didn’t get much sympathy from her judge for driving without a license I’m kinda doubting that Nicole will get much leniency for driving THE WRONG WAY ON THE FREEWAY while hopped up on vidodin and the maryjane.  I hope they make maternity orange jumpsuits for Nicole.  And will they give her 2 bologna sandwiches since she is eating for two now?  I’m just wondering?  I’ll give you scoop tomorrow when it all comes down.

     Nicole and her baby daddy

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