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Jay Z signs Fidel Castro to ROC LA FAMILIA
Danny Cash Baby!!! Reporting here for Bochinche TV, this is just in:
In a effort to revitalize the failure of Roc La Familia, Jay-Z the hip hop mega-mogul, signs Fidel Castro aka "The CASTRATOR" to his Roc La Familia label.
"Me and Castro have a lot in common" the mogul rapper says, "I've retired many times and came back……He has died many times and came back". Inspired by Fidel's leadership Jay-Z has fired everyone at Roc La Familia execution style. "I'm really excited 'bout this project, I saw Fidel perform in Cuba in front of thousands and thousands of fans and let me tell you, Castro tore it up.
Fidel's record is highly anticipated in markets like Cuba and Venezuela where it's mandatory to buy the Record. "How can we loose?" The mogul says "I lost millions on these reggaeton dudes I signed before, I need to recoup baby, catch Fidel on I-tunes, Roc La Familia still rocking". Castro was available for comment, but he couldn't talk trough his feeding tube.
Fidel Castro and his album drop DEAD in stores any day now, and it's cleverly titled "I See the Light".
The album include many cuts like!
1. Te corto los huevos
2. My way or the Guillotine
3. You want Beef, Go to the end of the line.
4. Keep rolling them Trees
5. To die or not to die, dat’s the question.
6. It’s 187 on G.W. Bush!
7. No sleep ‘till Kremlin
8. Roc La Havana (feat. Jay-Z)
9. Me, Myself and Hugo Chavez
10. Che Che Cole - Che Che Guevarra
11. I'm still standing! Well not really!
12. Pa'l Calabozo (To the slammer)
Bonus Track,
13. F@#K the Police in America, Not in Cuba!!!
Reporting for Bochinche TV,
Yours Truly,
Danny Cash
Don't forget to pick up a copy of the Hottest Latino Comedy DVD,
THE COMEDY JUMP OFF hosted by Ruperto Vanderpool
CLICK ON THE PICTURE BELOW:
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22 Responses to “Jay Z signs Fidel Castro to ROC LA FAMILIA”
Leave a Reply
June 30th, 2007 at 8:05 am
Are you making fun of Castro, Latinos, Jay Z or Hip Hop?
You said:
“Castro was available for comment, but he couldn’t talk trough his feeding tube”
But the fact is that right now Fidel Castro is probably healthier then you (even at his age!), and it’s your attempts at humor that may be in need of a feeding tube….
Maybe you should watch re-runs of the Dave Chapell show or something…
basta ya with the bulls#%@ bochinche, bro!
June 30th, 2007 at 12:38 pm
I’m making fun of all of the above. Thank You!
Black, White, Chino, and Latino… We have fun with everyone from Bush to Castro, it’s all about bugging out! hence the name BOCHINCHE.
For those who have a Spanish Deficiency, the word Bochinche means Cheap Gossip.
Therefore Bochinche News is not to be taking seriously, like Rican Rebel here.
Homie or Homegirl, whoever you are, if You are asking me to stop…I ain’t stopping!!!
Here’s a little song I like to dedicate to You and Your Castro, which is in his new album. LOL!!!!
“Music by Rakim and Ken Y”
DOWN (The REMIX) - Featuring Fidel Castro
(Down!) Si no tengo un baston…
(Down!) Si no tengo una silla…
(Down!) Si no estoy en una cama..
Si no tengo quien me agarra..
Mami, yo me caigo down…
(Down!) Girl, I’m dying on the floor…
(Down!) I’VE FALLEN AND I CAN’T GET UP - DOWN…
Si no tengo quien me agarre
Si no tengo de tu brazo.
Girl, that makes me fall so down…
(Down, down, down!)
So down…
That makes me fall so down…
TOMA!!!!!!
TRA, TRA, TRA, TRA, TRA, TRA, TRA, TRA, TRA, TRA, TRA, TRA, TRA, TRA, TRA, TRA,
TRA, TRA, TRA, TRA, TRA, TRA, TRA, TRA, TRA, TRA, !!!!!!
KILLING YOU WIT COMEDY!!!!
D$
June 30th, 2007 at 9:35 pm
LMFAO!!!…funny stuff “D Cash”….that was good….keep making us laugh…..if you aint laughing you aint living!!!
July 3rd, 2007 at 9:36 am
“I ain’t no joke, I use to let the mic smoke
Now I slam it when I’m done and make sure it’s broke” - Rakim
Nah, not taking you seriously at all. Just pointing out that taking pot shots at an eighty-year old Latin American leader that the gringo americano colonizers hate (and have tried to assasinate on more then one occassion) is way too easy.
But if people wanna laugh (and live) up in here, here’s a few jokes about Fidel Castro by white americanos that are funnier then you:
“Miami’s Hispanic population took to the streets last night to celebrate Fidel Castro temporarily stepping down from power. Way to go America! Our plan to slowly deteriorate his health over the course of 50 years is working.” - Stephen Colbert
“President Bush said that in the event that Castro does die he has a plan in place to show the Cuban people there’s a better way than the plan they’re currently living under. Hey forget Cuba, how ’bout showing us that plan. I would love to see this plan.” - Jay Leno
“Now is the time to invade, America. My proposal is controversial but we’ve invaded for less. Now I know our troops are tied up in Iraq so here’s my plan. We harness the regime-destroying power of tourism. First, we send a fleet of Carnival cruise ships stuffed with battle-fattened early-retired middle-management types, their girth easily overpowering the frail bean-fed Cubans. Of course, there’s nothing Americans tourists like more than things they can get at home. So in phase two Marine choppers air-drop an outlet mall. Old Navy, Sunglass Hut. Name brands here, maybe a Jamba Juice, Cinnabon. The Cubans will quickly become addicted to the easy American dollar. Communism will fail. And then we can finally allow Cuba to become a valuable trading partner like Communist China. So, here’s to freedom and the Havana Applebee’s Cubanos. And what better way to celebrate than with a genuine ‘Dominican’ cigar. I can’t wait until this ‘Dominican’ cigar is legal.” - Stephen Colbert
And by the way, Castro ain’t “mine”, just like Cuba ain’t yours.
Ok, you may resume your “cheap gossip” buggin’ out bochinchando blog now.
July 3rd, 2007 at 11:30 am
Wao! “Rican Rebel Without A Cause”, All of that for Me?
I’m honored.
You went and research better jokes than mine by professional white comedians to make your point. You took the time to research this!
That’s says a lot about you as a person….lol… and about your rebellion, Rican Rebel.
CLAP, CLAP, CLAP, CLAP!!!!
Get a life! No better yet… Get Help!
Here’s a little link I like to share with You.
http://www.psychologyinfo.com/depression/help.html
See you in a few, I’m sure you’ll be reading or viewing, Stay Tuned!!!
D$
July 3rd, 2007 at 2:29 pm
Liberta! Liberta!
July 6th, 2007 at 2:40 pm
Actually, doesn’t take much “research” to locate and post up a couple of “jokes” about Castro that were all in the same place (on the net). I’m sure you know that too, Mr blog guy.
far as them being “white” peoples professional jokes, the point IS that white people are mostly the ones making jokes (stupid or otherwise) about latino Americans with impunity and arrogance to boot.
But I could have put Anyones jokes of any race/nationality/ethnic group/professionalism up on here and they still would have been light years beyond your immature stab at kick- em-while-their-down “humor”.
far as the Rican rebel name, it ain’t that serious. Just an off the dome name I used on the SITV blog site (just like your danny Cash name). But my name doesn’t indicate that i am a rebel (with or without a cause) anymore then yours indicates that you got any cash or even sense, uh, I mean cents.
And, actually nothing that’s been said on this Bochinche blog says ANYTHING about me “as a person” or as a latino person either. But it Does seem to speak volumes about you, Cash.
Thanx for the re-invite, by the way, but it’s not likely I will be coming back to this particular blog though. I actually fell on to it by accident because a few people I know who work for SITV asked if i would/could check the new blogs project and give THEM feedback. But I think I’ve seen all I need to see on THIS one.
But good look with your “career”.
Please hold your applause until AFTER the performance is over next time though…
July 8th, 2007 at 3:45 pm
WOW that got deep… I found the joke funny, but if we are to look at it in a serious manner then I guess it is what it is bochinche. all in all I think Fidel will find it ironic, the man actually has a sense a humor or so I’ve heard from people from his generation in cuba that arent so Angry at him. Yes I talk to old folks in Florida
Peace in da Si TV!
July 8th, 2007 at 11:08 pm
I’m glad that’s over.
Man, for someone who didn’t take my blog seriously, Rican Rebel aka MR. Feedback, sure had a lot to say… Uff… imagine if he/she has taken it seriously. Scary.
Anyway,
I Love You ALL! Stay tune.
D$
July 10th, 2007 at 3:32 pm
This guy is straight up comedy, lmao!!!
July 16th, 2007 at 1:29 pm
Liberta! Liberta!
July 16th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
This post was Basura… feels too forced. and in terms of the debate.. rican rebel got you on that one. sorry homie.
If yall really wanna laugh peep this video
www.youtube.com/watch?v=8if0o3bYl0k
Sitv.. holla at me if you need someone with original content that is actually funny.
July 16th, 2007 at 2:03 pm
damn moderation.. media segregation of the first amendment
July 17th, 2007 at 11:15 am
BrooklynBoy - You are an ACH!
Another Certified HATER!
Danny Cash!
July 18th, 2007 at 11:41 am
this is very funny, thanks!
C.
July 18th, 2007 at 3:38 pm
Fidel does not even respect his own people so why respect him - he fooled a whole country to follow his “revolution” which took Cuba from a dictatorship to another dictatorship, there is no access to computers to Cuban nationals in Cuba, can’t say or do anything anti-Castro….so, yes, to someone who knows something, this shit was funny as hell.
Think about it, you have to win the Cuban lottery to get the hell out of there!
July 18th, 2007 at 6:02 pm
WOW and BUSH does!!
July 19th, 2007 at 3:36 pm
Last time I checked noone is throwing themselves on rafts and trying to cross shark infested waters to leave the US.
July 19th, 2007 at 4:58 pm
What is this the O’ Reilly Factor? Sorry you feel this way. I will have to agree to disagree with you my friend. This is a topic like “Religion” that can last more than 10 presidencies of disscussing. Same as Castro’s reign in power.. “Turn off your television and listen to the street knowledge.” - TECHNIEC
July 19th, 2007 at 5:15 pm
then you need to check again angie..
people may not be throwing themselves on rafts, but our wonderful government is killing OUR own on someone else’s land..
maybe you should look inward..meaning at “OUR COUNTRY” before you can critize another.
July 21st, 2007 at 4:39 pm
Thanks for the response.. In case you aren’t notified.. I responded.
July 21st, 2007 at 8:05 pm
That’s funny.
G.S.M.