Fourth of July Latino Guidesnag

Fire In The Hole
Who said fireworks are illegal? The law? Pfft! If you're aching to destroy a piece of the land of the free then head over to your neighborhood bodega. They don't only carry expired milk and dusty canned foods they also (in the back) sell the latest in fireworks. The key here is all how you approach el bodeguero. Walk around as if you were going to buy some day-old bread, wait until every customer has left then ask him, "¿Tu tienes fireworks?" So, cogelo con take it easy and you'll be blowing up s**t in no time.

 

There Will Be Blood
Hot dogs and burgers are fine for your average American pero when it comes to Latinos we add more oomph to the grill. Along with your typical barbecue fare, expect to see some morcilla AKA blood sausage. It's an Argentine favorite and what's more American than killing animals and drinking their sangre. Additionally, you can up the ante with grilling some cuy-an Andean delicacy. Cuy is basically a large guinea pig--if you're classy leave the head on. Take that Bobby Flay!

Born in L.A. (Latin America)
Celebrate your parents' citizenship. While some Latinos are still incognito with their status in the States, some of our parents are sick and tired of presenting their "resident alien" cards. Being labeled an "alien" is as bad as being Amy Winehouse's mirror. ¡Coño! With your viejo now an official gringo he can willfully indulge in age-old American traditions of hackey sack, beer pong and claiming someone else's culture as his own. ¡Que viva los Estados Unidos!

Jonrons & Cracker Jack
Baseball is the one activity where Latinos are as average as Joe Schmo. Yet, these days attending a professional baseball game is like going to your Tia Damarys' house. The New York Mets have merengue nights for God's sakes! MLB's most talented players grew up in Latin America with a milk carton for a glove. So in honor of the U.S.'s independence go to a ballgame and root for Jose, Manny and Carlos . . . it's the American way.