Worst Types of Date Foods

While holding a cup of coffee this morning, I thought just how bad it would suck to spill it on my white shirt. Not only would I look horrible for my meeting, but the coffee would burn and leave me smelling like it for the rest of the day (or until I had a chance to actually change).

But then it got me thinking, what if I were on a coffee date and actually spilled on the guy instead? THAT would suck. I’ve got to remember to order only cold, clear drinks when I’m with guys.

I’m just a little bit klutzy, as lots of people are. But for some reason, I’m especially clumsy when it comes to food. For instance, just this past weekend, I was eating breakfast with a girlfriend—simple eggs, sausage (actually chicken sausage), and toast.

She was telling me a story and I was the listening to every word…and eating. So as she gets into the heart of the story, I decide to take a bite out of the juicy, grease-filled sausage. Next thing I know, there’s a stream of hot grease shooting out of the sausage, across the table, and onto Michelle’s arm. Now, you can imagine what that looked like right? Think sausage shooting warm, goopy stuff at the woman across from me. It’s exactly what you’re picturing.

Luckily we’re friends and after the initial shock of the grease shooting at her, we were immediately laughing about the incident. But, had this been a date…or even worse, a meeting, I would have been mortified.

That’s why I decided it’s probably time that I put together a list of Worst Types of Date Foods. All the stuff I, and probably you, shouldn’t touch when on a date (and probably any other kind of meeting).
We obviously know what’s first on my list…

Greasy, greasy greasy: So I obviously had a little incident with really greasy sausage, but besides that, there’s so many things that can go wrong with greasy food. It can splash, splatter, get on your face, your hands…I mean, it’s just not flattering. Stay away from anything that is deep, fried.

Herbs: Think parsley, broccoli, cilantro…any green vegetable that has the potential of leaving behind it’s children in your teeth. Just not pretty to look at a person smile while they have something green sitting there. Plus, it creates that awkward situation for your date, who then has to decide whether to tell you or not.

Red, red wine: Just like coffee, this could potentially be hazardous. Not only can it spill on you or your date, but it leaves your mouth so red, you end up looking like a vampire. Any True Blood for ya?

Sauces: Spaghetti seems like an easy entrée to order on a first date right? Bad move. Red sauce=disaster, especially with a dish like spaghetti because the noodles end up getting messy and splashing everywhere. But same with any kind of sauce covered food—why take the chance of getting your food on you.

Smelly: I don’t think I have to explain this one. Garlic and onions are the number one culprits of smelly foods, and though they taste good, I guarantee you won’t smell good.