Sexy Siren Advice: Don't Move in w/o a Ring

Dear Sexy Siren,

I recently broke up with my boyfriend. We’re totally in love and want to spend the rest of our lives together, but there’s one problem. He doesn’t want to marry me. He says it’s because he was married before and they divorced about 3 years ago. I’m divorced too, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting to marry him. He’s been really torn up over our break-up and is saying that maybe we can have a “trial” where I move in for a couple of months and see how it goes. I guess that will be okay because it’s like you move in and if it doesn’t work, then you move out. Just like marriage, if it doesn’t work, you divorce. What do you think?

Sincerely,
Marriage Material

Dear Marriage Material,

Do not move in with him until you’re married. Or at the very least, until you have an engagement ring. 

Divorce should never be an option…at least not in your minds. If you're fine with him not marrying you...move in together. He'll continue to make excuses whenever you bring it up. And he'll always say, "but I showed you how much I love you by moving in together". That’s always a hard point to argue.

Couples should move in together because they want to spend the rest of their lives together. I, personally, am okay with that because I don't know if I believe in marriage for myself....BUT, if YOU want marriage, then don't move in together without that commitment.

It’s hard to live together. As much as there are good times, there are also lots of bad and it’s too easy to give up when you’re on a “trial” then to actually sit down and say “we are married and HAVE to work through this”. 

Now I know in movies, such as the recent He’s Just Not That Into You the couple living together eventually did get married…but remember, that’s a movie. More often than not, I see relationships end when they move in together without that mental commitment that they are going to make it work—through good times and bad…and till death do us part.