I'm Not Moving For You

You never want to be the person who likes the other more, especially when you first start dating. You know...the one who hopes and wishes that this relationship will turn into something serious, while the other isn't quite sure how he/she feels in general. Being the puppy dog sucks.

I think that's why everyone plays it really cool when they start a new romance. It's the "game" we're always talking about. You give in a little...then you back up...go back in a bit...then really step out. You keep going this way until you're both finally comfortable enough to just admit that you care.

That's why it's hard to start a long distance "thing" (wouldn't really call it a relationship) with a person you hardly know. It's too hard to get to know each other AND it's hard to decide who is going to move (if it even gets that far).

But here's another problem...what happens if you end up moving to that person's city, and it's for personal reasons, not for the relationship? Well, my friend Veronique is going through this right now.

She met a guy at a friend's party a few years ago, hooked up with him, then never heard from him again. Then they ran into each other a couple years later at another one of the same friend's gatherings. At this point, Veronique had moved across the country. They ended up hooking up again and having a really good time and since there was the distance between them, it made it easier to speed up their dating process (they basically only had a few days together before she had to go home). So they ended up having an amazing 4 days in New York City. She even came back saying it felt like she was in a relationship.

Fast forward to two months later. Veronique and this guy have been talking a lot...and she's really happy about it. But she just got laid off from her job in Los Angeles, so what did she decide? She's moving back to NYC, and the decision has nothing to do with her guy (though it's a bonus). Her next career move is in the East, so she has no choice but to go...

So now she's worried. He seemed excited about the news of her move, but their talks have definitely slowed down. It's kind of sad because, well...she wonders if they only had a good "relationship" because there was never a chance for them to get serious anyway? 

I guess we'll find out once she gets there.