He's My Baby Daddy

I got to meet a new addition to my friend Rachel’s family this week—Baby M. He’s tiny, cute, and as precious as any child should be. He’s also Rachel and her husband’s FIRST baby. That means they are learning about each other in ways they never even imagined and actually, one of the comments I heard from Rachel was, “When you have a baby, you realize just how good (or bad) of a relationship you have with your partner.”

She makes a point that is not only valid, but one that I’ve heard mothers say before—if you picked a good person to have a baby with, then you will definitely know it when the baby arrives because having a baby is a lot of work.

Now, there’s no doubt that having a baby is one of the most intimate events that you can share with your partner, but at the same time, you get tested in ways that you have never even thought of before. In fact, I’m willing to say that having a baby may be the biggest test of your life. So in preparation for the test, while taking the test, and when looking at the results of the test (a baby’s lifetime) you really get to know a person…and you start to fight about different issues.

For instance, if you’re used to fighting about which television show you’re going to watch tonight (more of squabble), then that focus will suddenly change to “Who’s going to change the diaper this time?” If you argue about who is making dinner tonight, well, now you’re fighting about who’s going to get up this time to check on the baby. And, if you argue about who gets to go out with their friend’s tonight, now it becomes not just who gets to go out, but WHO gets a baby break.

The rules just change because there’s a bigger problem than just yourself now.
Even while having dinner, it was a matter of who gets to eat first while the other holds the baby and can Rachel drink tonight because she might have to breastfeed later, but if she can’t drink, is it fair for him to drink?

I mean, I was so impressed at how well they handled each other and Baby M. I started thinking about the guys that I’ve dated and how we would have acted with each other in this situation. It gives me a whole other perspective…will me and this guy handle having a baby together? Obviously it’s fine when the baby is cute, but when he/she’s crying? When there’s a health issue? When someone needs to change a diaper? How will this guy react?

Hhmm, ladies…these observations give me new perspective on the terms: Baby Mama and Baby Daddy. Suddenly it’s so fitting because now I suppose all we’re looking for in the end is a baby daddy. Right?