Can't We Be Friends?

My friend “Jenna” caught her boyfriend speaking to his ex-girlfriend yesterday. It all happened because she was getting ready for work and he was still sleeping…when his phone rang.

The person calling—his “Boopie”. Yeah, that’s the nickname that came up on the screen.

Jenna controlled her desire to answer the phone and scream at Boopie and instead opted to check his text messages (we know! Bad bad and we shouldn’t do that, but your ex-girlfriend shouldn’t be calling you either!).  Of course, we also know that when you start snooping, you most likely won’t find anything good. Turns out he’s been having regular conversations with his former love…except, that’s all they were—conversations. There wasn’t anything in their messages that suggested they were hooking up, seeing each other, or crossing the line at all. They were just acting like friends would.

Still an offense…so Jenna immediately approached her man with her discovery…and was again, dumbfounded. He came out completely honest and said, “I know it’s not right to be friends with her, but that’s all that we are—friends. I actually told her that I’m in love with you and won’t be able to speak to her anymore…that’s why she keeps calling. She doesn’t understand why we can’t be friends.”

So I guess that solves that?

This is where I personally get torn. I would like to be friends with most of the guys I have dated…with the exception of about 2 because they were dickheads. I mean, I’ve shared some wonderful friendships with these guys and it’s sad to think you have to throw it all away when you break up. Can’t we all be a little more mature?

A good example is this…I dated a guy in high school. We were good friends to start, then he got way too serious (we were young!) so things didn’t work out. He moved away after graduation and I never heard from him again. I always wonder how he’s doing—is he married? Has kids? It’s been over a decade since we have talked!

I saw him sign on to Yahoo! Messenger yesterday and decided to ping him…no response. How sad.

Guess maybe he just thought talking to me would be crossing the line? 

And don't get me wrong...the thought of my boyfriend talking to his ex makes me cringe...I most likely wouldn't stand for it.

Anyone have thoughts on this? I would like to know...