Tastes Like Chicken!

Once again a person has found something unusual in their meal at a restaurant.  Jack and his girlfriend went out for a nice dinner at T.G.I. Friday’s in N.Y. when he spotted something a bit different mixed in with his veggies…a snake head with part of the spine still attached!  Obviously, Jack was not charged for his meal and a spokeswoman for the chain is investigating how the snake head got into his meal.  So far Jack has no plans to sue.

 

So far!  But I know how this works.  A person starts thinking, “hell, that granny who spilled coffee on her cooch got zillions from McDonald’s so maybe I can make some $$ too!”  But he didn’t actually eat the snake so there probably isn’t a lawsuit there anyway.  Besides, everyone knows that snake tastes like chicken, so if anything, he got meat added to his veggies for free. 

 

The history of foreign objects in food is fascinating.  It seems like fingers are often the interesting little culprits that end up in everything from ice cream to burgers.  And T.G.I. Friday’s was once again in the spotlight when a diner in Indiana ordered a burger.  Instead of getting a side of fries with it, he got a slice of finger.  Seems a member of the kitchen staff cut off a portion of his finger and in the confusion to help the man, the finger ended up on a diner’s plate.  Luckily, the diner noticed it immediately as not looking quite like the other things on the plate and didn’t eat it.  See people, that segment on “Sesame Street” where kids learn “one of these things is not like the others” really helps in instances like this. 

 

The finger has also made its way into other foods as well.  The best case so far has been the mysterious manicured finger in the bowl of chili at Wendy’s.  Anna Ayala was eating the chili when “Suddenly something crunchy was in my mouth and I spit it out.”  Then the vomiting commenced.  Then the lawsuit commenced.  But the story took a weird turn when it was reported that a leopard tore off part of a finger from an owner of exotic animals the exact same size as the finger found in the chili at Wendy’s.  The same day the story came out, Anna dropped her lawsuit.  So did she steal this leopard torn finger?  No one knows!  But why did it have to be a Latina woman?  Makes us look shifty and money hungry, dammit. 

 

Fingers have also been found in frozen custard.  The guy who got the frozen dairy treat did not bite into the finger as Anna had though.  And yes, he did sue the place that sold him the custard.  I found a staple once in my tiramisu at a restaurant.  I was enjoying my yummy, creamy dessert when I felt something sharp and spit it out.  I told the waiter who gave me the dessert for free.  I should have gotten my whole damn meal for free but didn’t make a big stink about it.  I should have held out for more.  Hell, for a million dollars I think I would suffer the emotional duress of biting on someone’s finger.  If everyone says that snake tastes like chicken and just about every other meat tastes like chicken, how bad can a finger taste?