Real Latino Butts

Back in 2000 J. Lo’s butt burst onto the scene with that green Versace dress. Within moments her butt acquired vast fame and fortune. I’m certain her butt’s insurance policy alone is worth more than 3 generations of wealth in my immediate and extended family. (I think we’re in the red.) Now, thanks to that butt, I’m forced to grapple with society’s expectation that I have a nice, big butt.

 

Allow me to dispel that myth. My ass is flat as it is wide. I started working out a couple years ago and maybe it perked up a bit. (Thank you Curves.) Nevertheless, my butt still qualifies as a low rider. The trunk is empty. No subwoofer in there.

 

I descend from a long line of flat butts. My father’s is concave. For reals. Even my love interest, one of J. Lo’s people, has a minute butt. Two cheeks equal one handful and homie is 6 feet tall. That is one little booty.

 

So don’t come at me with this curvy Latina crap. Maybe the flat butts stick together for that is all I know.

 

Unidos por pobres pompis.