Lil Bow Wow Barks… His Bodyguards Bite!

Lil Bow Wow barks like this... mark, mark, mark, mark, mark... In order for you to understand what I'm saying you have to do that with a Chihuahua accent.

I will admit I am a reality TV whore. I don't love reality TV... I am in love with reality TV. But even I have to admit with this writers strike going on its ninth week (Go Writers it's Your Birthday) TV is simply falling the hell off... way, the hell off!

Two prime examples... Snoop Dog's Fatherhood and his prodigal rap son, Bow Wows joint with Omarion on BET called Road to Platinum.

I'm not even going to touch Snoops reality TV show but let me just say this... The synopsis must have been - Ghetto Run's House - and if it's unscripted they should pay some writers under the table like we do in Nueva York and script the hell out of that show... It's downright garbage...

So I'm sitting in my living room watching my 57 inch TV with my Juju Beads, Raisinetts and popcorn and I look up just in time to see Bow Wow start... mark, mark, mark, mark, marking at Touré who is conducting a very out of line interview.

At first I thought, you go Bow Weezy... But then he left the room and as he exited he said something to the effect of, "Homey we can handle this like men... Yo Bodyguard take care of him for me..."

What the???

Bow Wow went on ranting and raving about how Omarion and he wanted to be treated like men... Of course it was later stated that the line of questioning by Touré was supposed to be a joke for BET's Black Carpet Show.

In honor of Bow Wow's trek to manhood I wanted to provide him with a little advice:

5. If you want to be treated like a man stop acting like a wanna-be gangster Straight out of Compton. We know your history duke.

4. Don't listen to all the yes men you have around you when they tell you, "Yo Bow, you are looking swole son."

3. Walking around with two guerillas does not make you tough... It makes you the banana provider.

2. Just because you grew up slap boxing Da Brat does not mean you are tough.

1. Never, ever, ever under any circumstances sick your bodyguards on someone and follow with the line, "I'll mess you up homey... Yo B show him what I'm about."

Be humble Bow and maybe one day you can upgrade that bark!

One Love, Ivan Sanchez - Your Friendly Neighborhood Author