How You Gonna Forget To Pay My Guy?

Like many of my peers on SiTV. I don't like to set New Year's resolutions... I like to set goals, get focused and work hard towards achieving those goals...

But the problem with setting multiple goals is that they sometimes get in each others way.

Take for example a few of the goals I set this year.... The first and most important being to lose 25 pounds get in shape and get camera ready for when Next Stop hits the bookstores in October. The second being to write three books by the end of the year...

I found out this week while staying up until 2 AM to write almost everyday that staying up late without milk and cookies just doesn't work for me...

When most men get stressed... They reach for a nice glass of wine or vodka on the rocks or some other manly drink like that. But I'm not them and when I get stressed I reach for some milk and Entenmanns's.

People, I was clean for the last seven days...

I was doing Atkins and behaving myself by keeping carbs out of my temple... But then things started to go downhill for me after I went to traffic court yesterday and got manhandled by the judge... "Maximum sentence spic,"

I felt violated, I felt depressed and I needed the junk to balance things out...

And then things went from bad to worse... When I rushed to Food Lion to get my fix I realized they had moved the Entenmanns isle... You know Entenmanns's right? The cookies, the donuts, the cakes that are to die for...

After walking the entire store 3 times I realized the Entenmanns were no where to be found... I thought I was having a nightmare so I wanted to follow it through to see where it took me...

After asking to see a manager I demanded to know where the hell my favorite snack was and he said, "There was a mix-up with the bill. We won't have any Entenmanns for a few weeks."

What the???

I said, "Come on man how you gonna forget to pay the smack guy, I mean snack guy?"

"Why couldn't you forget to pay the broccoli guy or the tomato guy? Why my guy?"

I offered to settle the bill between Food Lion and the Entenmanns Corporation and then I had my MVP card confiscated and I was asked to leave the store...

The bottom line is... I'm off my diet... I'm back to writing and I'm happier because of it. Who needs a six pack when you can have a 24 pack? If we all looked like super models we'd get bored with each other.

When you look at me I don't want you to see a fat faced Puerto Rican. I want you to see a man who can settle a snack food bill... I've worked hard to get here... Why won't society leave me and Brittany alone?

One Love, Ivan Sanchez - Your Friendly Neighborhood Author